Tuesday, February 2, 2010
self reflection post...
back~
sometimes, i really feel lost of which direction i shld go in life. as i get older, i tend to be indecisive of wad to do, thus making me following others all the time. i can spend a long time choosing the things i wan to buy, the food that i want to eat, the place i want to go. but no one really understands where i want to stand...some ppl in my life really helps me a lot because they gives me a feeling that they don't feel burden with me following them.....and im really grateful...
i actually thought i will have ppl who will understand me and not say things that will bring me down....but as time pass, i jus have this feeling that ppl who are close to me tends to stress me and will give me a feeling that i shouldn't live my life this way and wants me to change my life. but they don't realise that by doing so, i will feel stressed...or maybe, that's the intention.
no pin pointing, but that's how i feel now...
there's some things i want to say out....but i know i shouldn't because i don't trust the world. i've dropped my ambition (some of my close friends shld know) and that, i have little direction in life now...while i was trying to work on my ambition in the past...i couldnt feel the 'push'...and because of health, i totally gave it up. now i just want to continue with my current studies and job, most imptly, minimise the troubles that i will have. and i hope my friends will also lead a life that they want. seriously.
Also, i may be slightly straightforward at times which i may offend some ppl....and i feel like slapping myself when i say something wrong, especially in front of some friends....i don't want them to feel that there's a gap between us....so sorry if u felt this way....im not sure whether anyone is affected or not....
for now, i jus want to.....
- study
- work
- dance
- sing
- admire someone who is not 'real' (i meant idols....)
and relationships shall come naturally....wads most impt.....love yourself and everyone.....
back~
sometimes, i really feel lost of which direction i shld go in life. as i get older, i tend to be indecisive of wad to do, thus making me following others all the time. i can spend a long time choosing the things i wan to buy, the food that i want to eat, the place i want to go. but no one really understands where i want to stand...some ppl in my life really helps me a lot because they gives me a feeling that they don't feel burden with me following them.....and im really grateful...
i actually thought i will have ppl who will understand me and not say things that will bring me down....but as time pass, i jus have this feeling that ppl who are close to me tends to stress me and will give me a feeling that i shouldn't live my life this way and wants me to change my life. but they don't realise that by doing so, i will feel stressed...or maybe, that's the intention.
no pin pointing, but that's how i feel now...
there's some things i want to say out....but i know i shouldn't because i don't trust the world. i've dropped my ambition (some of my close friends shld know) and that, i have little direction in life now...while i was trying to work on my ambition in the past...i couldnt feel the 'push'...and because of health, i totally gave it up. now i just want to continue with my current studies and job, most imptly, minimise the troubles that i will have. and i hope my friends will also lead a life that they want. seriously.
Also, i may be slightly straightforward at times which i may offend some ppl....and i feel like slapping myself when i say something wrong, especially in front of some friends....i don't want them to feel that there's a gap between us....so sorry if u felt this way....im not sure whether anyone is affected or not....
for now, i jus want to.....
- study
- work
- dance
- sing
- admire someone who is not 'real' (i meant idols....)
and relationships shall come naturally....wads most impt.....love yourself and everyone.....
what we could have been, 10:06 PM.
